In the Beginning, There Was My Father

Carroll Beauvais


I want to go back
to the day you were born.
Slip in through the side
door, tap the delivering doctor
on the shoulder,
exchange a meaningful look before
he pulls you all
the way out, before we can see
the clumps of your mother's insides
still clinging to your skin, before
you have a chance to let forth
your first cry. Before you've learned
how to take up space. How to
throw your weight around, how to hurt
people.             And watch.
I do not want to warn the others. I do not
want to stop you before you start.
Just to see you as they did
in that room: Joy's bundle. Life's miracle.
The promise of happy memories to make.
And then let it
all happen, let it all unfold again
exactly as it has before.

Carroll Beauvais is an aspiring poet who has taken classes at the 92nd Street Y Unterberg Poetry Center, Poets House and The Poetry Project since graduating from Hunter College in 2004. She works in the online marketing department at DK Publishing and lives in Brooklyn.

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